I’ve almost run out of patience but still I don’t know what keeps me going and hoping that I’ll still meet you. One or two times in the past I’ve felt that I’ve almost got you, only to realize it’s an illusion and our time had really not come.

There’s this one time I felt loved and I was sure it was you then it hit me that I had given my mind a backseat and was using the cardiac for thinking, you wouldn’t wish that for me. The love came in plenty but with it was a ton of conditions that you wouldn’t expect me to live with. If you were the one then am sorry I failed you but it also had me thinking, wouldn’t you want me to be me? Or what do you think darling, isn’t genuinity far much more appealing than pretence? You’re smart, I know you agree.

Then another time I bet had you in my grasp but due to my naivity you slipped away from my grip or so I guess. I messed up as I have always done and as a precaution for your gentle heart I had given the warning earlier on that heaven was calling for me but too many legions existed within me and no sooner had I said that than they caught up with your man,or a boy I should say I was then. But I had hoped that although I had caused you a lot of hurt, that forgiveness I’d get from your heart. I was sincere, trust me. For once I had tried to hold on and at least man up to my mistakes, I asked for forgiveness coz I knew I wanted something different with you and on the tombstone of all my broken dreams I’ll swear that I was genuine. But I wasn’t convincing enough, and at last my heart fell again for my demons and they told me that if it really was you, you’d forgive me and so I stopped pleading, though I was sincerely sorry still.

Dear wife, I know you’re thinking right now if am still worth the sharing of your heart,  soul and dreams. I’ll affirm that I still am, I may be a work in progress but trust me I know how to treasure and you can trust me with your life coz it is mine too.

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